Slippery Slope Into Darkness
by kr3ativ23
Summary: Sequel to Addiction. Jenny's dead and Nick's addiction has worsen. Nick has done a good job keeping his private life, private but what happens when a case makes the worlds collide. Set two years after Addiction
1. Unusual

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy! This picks up two years after Addiction.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Sequel to Addiction. Jenny's dead and Nick's addiction has worsen. Nick has done a good job keeping his private life, private but what happens when a case makes the worlds collide.

Ch1: Unusual

I slowly stir and feel myself slowly wake. I have the worst headache of my whole life, gosh what a hangover. I don't remember drinking last night. I don't remember last night. I open my eyes and look around, I'm not home. I'm at the hospital; I look around and see Lady Heather in the chair next to my bed. This doesn't frighten me as much as one would think because she's been 'helping' me with my hyper sexuality or sex addiction. After Jenny's death I relapsed badly and I haven't been able to bring myself out of it. If anything I've learned how to hide it better.

"What happened?" I ask closing my eyes because of the light. I feel a big bump on the back of my head. Why am I her but why is Lady Heather here?

"You don't remember?" she says standing.

_Beat but I'm not broken  
Guide me through with your hand  
Lead with your words spoken  
Show me how to listen_

Let your light shine through me  
Take this hate I can't release  
Help me make the blind see  
Misery loves its company

When I dream, I see dawn turn into dusk, into dusk

A week earlier...

I'm scurrying around the house as I grab the remaining things for Rose. She's a four and a half big kid and is spending the weekend with her grandfather. My nanny is getting her changed because Rose just spilled her drink all over herself.

"Mr. Stokes, Rose is all changed." my nanny, Kelly says. I yawn.

"Thank you, Kelly. I'll see you Monday." Kelly leaves. I bring Rose's bag out to the door.

Kelly is the best nanny I've had so far and I've gone through a couple it's mainly my fault because once you sleep with your nanny things get weird. But

Kelly has been around for little over a year she is great with Rose and is flexible with her hours because mine are so hectic and I haven't slept with her.

Unbeknownst to my nanny and Russell I also have the weekend off. But I have my own plans.

I open the door and see Russell waiting there. Russell is a good man, and a great grandfather to little Rose. He moved to Henderson after Jenny's death and helps out when he can. Russell never contested the will and told me it wasn't his place.

"Hey Russell," I say hugging Russell.

"Hey Nick. Hey Rosie!" he says picking up Rose.

"I packed her everything including a swimsuit, tons of socks because she seems to just go through them. You got my cell number; I packed her some children's Tylenol, some Claritin, and Benadryl, just in case."

"Nick, relax I got It." he says, and I'm taken back.

"I sound like my mother." we both laugh. "Have fun, baby." I give Rose a kiss on her cheek. "Give me a call before you go to bed."

"Ok, goodnight daddy." she says kissing me. I laugh to myself, its nine o'clock in the morning and my daughter says goodnight to me because she knows I'm going to sleep.

Once they leave I make myself something to eat and start picking up. I mainly just put all of Rose's toys in her bedroom and shut her door. Once all that is done I go to my bedroom and send my friend a text to make sure she's still coming, she is.

I fall asleep for a few hours and when I wake I start getting ready for my _date_. I take a quick shower and get dressed; I wear my crisp black shirt and faded jeans.

I double check my appearance in the mirror when I hear my cell phone ringing.

It's Lady Heather. I ignore the call, she wouldn't approve of what I'm doing.

Lady Heather, or Dr. K, is my therapist. Dr. Greene moved out of state shortly after Jenny's death, and he referred me to her. She's great but I'm not sure if I ready to get better or especially right now. Then I hear a knock at the door, I smile, she's here. I just like this better.

I open up the door and smile. She grabs the back of my neck and pulls me into a lustful and fiery kiss. She pulls away and licks her lips.

"Howdy Cowboy," she says.

"Hey." I say biting my lip.

"You going to invite me in, Nicholas?" she says I pick her up and bring her to my table shutting the door with my foot.

"How's this Alicia?" I say pinning her underneath me.

"Much better." she says in a whisper.

Alicia is a stripper, and tattoo model. Her stage name is Miss Impulse, due to the fact she has impulse tattooed up her ribcage. She has tattoos on her arms, sides and back. Alicia isn't my usual type but nothing about Alicia is usual. She's like this wild exotic animal that just mystifies me every time I'm in her presence. She is wearing this tight black party dress, fully exposing all her tattoos. She's got red hair with a black underlying and the fieriest amber eyes I've ever seen. Actually she's the only person I know with amber eyes but every time I see them it's like they cast this spell over me. I can't control myself and I don't want to, here's to a weekend of fun.

_There is a problem here with our society  
The absence of my tears is my sobriety  
I have a growing fear and you're not helping me  
Am I the only one who realizes it's true_?

_**This is just sex. In society I'm a bad person because of what I do and how I look. I have tattoos and dance on a pole so in society's eyes I'm bad. But they don't know me like him; even though this is just sex his eyes don't see me as bad. I call him Cowboy. In society's eyes he could be bad too, they just don't know it... Yet. He sees the worst of society and if they saw the worst of him they would cast the same judgment. They're both bad. The part they see is a heroic crime fighter, the part I see is far from it. The part I see is a sex crazed wild animal but I like that side a lot. We are both good people, we may not bring out the best out of each other but that's not our job. I know I'm not the only one and so does he, this is just sex. - Miss Impulse**_

Misery loves its company by Red Jumpsuit Apparatus


	2. Good vs Evil

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ch2: Good vs Evil

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I open my one eye and see Alicia sitting across from me in... I think my shower. I am drunk and sleepy; Alicia looks just as sleepy as me. Cast your judgments now. After Jenny past my doctor put me on sleep medicine and I learned if you stay awake on them you hallucinate and get a crazy feeling of euphoria. Mix a couple of those with a couple beers you end up in your bathtub in your jeans. I wouldn't say I abuse them, I just use them in a different manner then they are meant for. I am an innovator. I still get the benefits.

I still feel some of the side effects of over indulging on my sleep meds. I feel very tired but yet I can't sleep or lift my head up. My brain feels like a sand bag weighing my skull down and my neck feels like a used slinky. I think Alicia is sitting on my legs or something because I can't feel my legs. I start to move my arms and they feel like they weigh about a million pounds and everything feels… just great. It's almost like a cartoon or a sitcom, it doesn't feel real. This whole weekend is about getting out of reality. To get out of the evils of the good world to appreciate the goods of the evil world.

I move and I'm all wet I look at my hands and the tub is filled. I don't know how I ended up here, or where my shirt is or where her clothes are, I'm only wearing my jeans and one sock all of which is wet. Alicia has her heels on and her panties. I splash her, and she smiles. I position myself so that I'm above and push her bangs out of her face getting her face wet. She laughs as do I. She kisses me.

"Oh, Cowboy." she moans as I kiss her neck. She moves and somehow gets on top. She spikes my hair with the water and opens my mouth and starts dumping a beer down it until I start coughing. She puts the beer down and kisses me again. "You need a haircut," she says tugging on my hair, bringing my face up to her chest as she's biting her lip.

"I was waiting for you to cut it," I said, getting mesmerized by her eyes. Her amber eyes entice me they make me want her more and more every time I see her. Her appetite is insatiable I try to appease her so she keeps coming back, however fully satisfying either of us is impossible but trying to keep up with each other is the true challenge.

"That will have to wait till later,"

"Oh yeah, why?" I ask as she stirs the water by my sides. She takes her nails and scrapes them along my sides.

"I've been waiting too long and have been too excited for this weekend, to just cut your hair."

"Yeah?"

"yeah." she says kissing me. This weekend is just as stress relieving for her as it is for me too. We escape from our lives to just spend time within each other and tend to our own deep demons.

_I'm so addicted to  
All the things you do  
When you're going down on me  
In between the sheets  
Or the sound you make  
With every breath you take  
It's not like anything  
When you're loving me_

We met at Lady Heather's office, when I was going for one on one therapy after Jenny's death. I kept seeing Alicia there; she too was going for therapy. In some people's head this might have came up as a red flag but in my mind it was a green light. What was the worst that could happen she say no, everyone already knows I'm nasty. But the relationship didn't turn until I saw her dance.

After court I felt like celebrating when no one else did, so I went to a strip club, and felt like celebrating my way. I knew I was looking good, I had a new suit on, but still looked relaxed with my shirt unbuttoned a little and my tie gone, and I had cut gotten a haircut earlier. When I saw her I immediately recognized her and I knew she recognized me. I watched her dance for hours before I bought a private dance. She told me to wait up and told me what time she got out. So I waited.

Over the course of a month we started our head case of a special relationship. We go through these stages, where we hate each other but then we can't be without each other. She was my bad girl and I was her good boy. We kept our relationship a secret knowing it would be career and social suicide for both of us. However it was more me, I never introduced to the team or Rose. I did go to a couple events with her when she needed a date. I guess you could say she's my best friend in all fairness except we have sex with each other. We use each other.

She knows about Rose and Jenny and the lab, I don't tell that to everyone. She likes the fact that I'm a family man and that I'm a CSI she says it adds to my good boy cliché. I know about her hectic schedule, struggle with eating disorders, and her crazy family.

_I know when it's getting rough  
all the times we spend  
when we try to make  
this love something better than  
just making love again_

Alicia and I have a unique and certainly bizarre relationship. It may be just sex but it serves my needs better than any relationship I've ever been in or apart of.

_**He's addicted. When I first met Cowboy, it was at our doctor's. I knew why he was there and he knew why I was there. He looked real good, and at the time I needed a new plaything. His smile was to die for. But I soon wondered why a good man like him needed this kind of help. I knew he was a good man just burden with stress. The stress of his work, his family, and the stress of trying to live in his own skin. I remember feeling like that, like you're the worst person alive and shouldn't be alive. No one can help you. His mind set is maybe just one more time and that will be it. One good night and he won't have to go out or get a booty call, but he's addicted. Addicted to the chase, addicted to the feeling, he's addicted. - Miss Impulse**_

* * *

The song is Addicted by Saving Abel. The first couple chapters I'm using to show the darkest of Nick's addiction, so I apologize if it feels like a slow start but it's going to pick up in a big way soon just bear with me. The last parts by Miss Impulse (a character i created) are going to make sense soon as well.

Please Review!


	3. Naked

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing except Alicia.

Ch3: Naked

* * *

I wake up to Alicia shaking me, I'm so hung over. My clothes are still wet; my hair has dried so I know my bed head is something out of a catalog.

"I'm awake," I say knocking her hands away. "If you knew how hung over I am, you'd..." I say rolling over without finishing my sentence.

"I'd what?" she says rubbing my back.

"I don't know..." I say drifting between sleep states.

"I'm going to make something to eat," she says as my stomach growls. She puts her panties on and one of my shirts.

_You got a girl  
That doesn't look a thing like me  
The girl, your mother always said it would be  
So, you could say that, you could say that  
I'm hopeless_

But that ain't the girl  
That ain't the girl I want you to be  
The girl that keeps up  
And I see in my dreams  
So, you could say that, you could say that  
I love her

I change into some gym shorts and a sweater, and join her in the kitchen.

I see her turning my stove and I walk over to her and kiss her on the neck, and wrap my hands around her waist. I lift her shirt and push it up so I can watch her bottom as she cook.

I sit at the table and pour us cups of orange juice. I grab some Tylenol making sure I bump into Alicia. I hear her drop the spatula but I don't look, I hear her to a little anger laugh.

"You think you're funny?" she says laughing.

"Yeah, a little." I say smiling at her briefly. I return my eyes to my cupboard to look for the Tylenol. I feel a terrible stinging on my bottom. I turn and Alicia hits me in the thigh with the spatula. I try to take the spatula but she hits me again. "Ouch," I say fighting laughing as she giggles. "Give it to me." I say trying to shield my sore butt and hip.

"No way." she says hitting my butt again. I decide to run and she chases me.

"Leave me alone." I say running around my couch.

"Come here funny man." she says trying to climb over the couch but I grab her and we wrestle and fall into a laughing fit. "You're lucky you're so gosh dang cute." she says squeezing my cheeks.

"Stop that." I said turning my head; she turns it back kissing me.

"Better?" she says running her hand through my hair.

"Better." I say resting my hands on her hips.

"You need a haircut."

"I know..." I say kissing her.

_Tell me baby, will you be here when I wake up  
Even with no make up  
I don't want to fake it_

And you don't gotta doubt a second if I miss you  
Everytime I'm with you  
I feel naked

"Oh shoot I forgot about breakfast!" she says as we both smell it burning. I laugh as she runs to the stove turning it off. Once breakfast was ruined we decided to make microwaveable burritos. We have already slept half the day away we might as well skip to lunch.

"Let's try to behave ourselves when we go out tonight." she says draping a towel over my shoulders. Every time we go out we fight, either with each other or others and sometimes both, but it's always her fault.

"Why are you saying that to me? You always start the problems." I said as she turns on the clippers.

"Really Nick? We both know that's not the case."

"Whatever..." I say opening a magazine that has Alicia in it. I'd rather not start fighting before we even go out. Alicia does a lot of good out in the community and is on her way to celebrity stardom and is using it for good, but people judge her because of the way she looks.

"Much better," she says pulling my head back while I was reading to give me a kiss.

We get in the club and I make my way to the bar. I hate going to the club especially with Alicia. All the guys stare at her and we are both jealous people and we drink that's why we fight. We are both jealous people yet we are aware of our other romantic relationships that we're in. I feel my phone and it's Lady Heather, I ignore it.

"Who was that?"

"Dr. K," she knows I work nights that's why she calls so late. I know I'm bad that's why when I do wrong I don't call her. Alicia goes to therapy and then comes over, she calls it baby steps, I call it bullshit but I'm not a doctor. Maybe it works for her.

_Cause I don't care what they say  
It's our life life life  
We can dance if we want  
Make it feel alright  
Temperature's rising  
I feel the fire  
Tonight, it's just me and you_

"Come on, you can drink at home. Let's dance." she says pulling my arm to the dance floor.

After a couple hours of dancing I'm bored and a little drunk. Her dancing is like teasing almost foreplay.

"I'll be back." Alicia says making her way to the bathroom. I check my phone and I have a missed call from Lauren, the nurse. I call her tomorrow.

"Hey," a woman said as I leaned against the wall.

"Hello," I said back, she was pretty. "What's your name?" I say, but because the music is so loud each time you speak you have to talk directly into the other's ear.

"Kayla," she says I nod. It suits her. "Are you going to tell me your name?" she says laughing touching my shoulder.

"I'm Nick," I say smiling.

"Nice to meet you, Nick."

"You too, Kayla. What you drinking?" she starts telling me what she's drinking and as I turn my head to listen I see Alicia dancing with another guy. "It was very nice meeting you, Kayla." I say just in case I don't go home with Alicia. I don't want to go home alone. I grab Alicia and pull her towards me.

"What are you doing?" I ask, last time we went out a similar thing happened except I was dancing with another girl and Alicia fought her.

"Go dance with your Barbie."

"Really we are going to do this?"

"You did it?"

"I was talking you are practically dry humping this guy!" I say when I feel the guy push me from behind. I turn my head and it's the guy she was just dancing with.

"You gotta problem, bro?" he says but before I can answer he tries to swing at me. I tackle him down and we start wrestling but within seconds we are broken up and I'm thrown out.

"Every god damn time!" I say brushing myself off as I stand. Alicia comes out

and looks at me like it's my fault which just makes me beyond angry.

"What is your problem?"

"I can't believe you! You would say it's my fault when it's yours!"

"How's this my fault? I didn't fight anyone."

"This time..." I say under my breath.

"Really Nick?" she says getting in my face.

"Yeah, really."

"You're unbelievable. I done with this, and you!" she says jamming her finger in my chest. I smile and wave goodbye to her. "You're such an ass."

"I don't understand why you are still?" I say, and she slaps me and walks away. I grab her arm and force her to look at me. She pushes me back.

"Come on." I say as a cab pulls up for us.

"I'm not going anywhere with you." she says crossing her arms.

"Get in the car!" I say, she does reluctantly and pushing me as she does.

_If I told you girl  
Come and run away with me  
Now will you throw it all away for me  
I need to know that, need to know that  
It's not over_

This happens every time we go out. Even though at this time we hate each other if anyone else were to get involved or hurt one of us we would defend each other. That's what dysfunctional friends do. You don't have to be in a relationship to defend each other. When we get back to my house we make up and soon forget why we were even arguing.

_Cause you were the boy_  
_Daddy told you to stay away from me_  
_But you're nothing but a fantasy_  
_I need to know that, need to know that_  
_You'd be strong enough to believe in us_

_**Extreme is utmost or exceedingly great in degree. That's me and him in a nutshell. Our fights are compared to world wars. Our bond is compared to that of great friends. When we fight you'd think we were arch enemies. When we are together you'd think we've been married for years. But when we are 'together' we have the raw passion and lust of strangers or lovers who haven't seen each other in years. I've told him things I'd be embarrass and ashamed to tell anyone else. I know if I ever needed anything I could call him and he'd help, and vice versa. I don't know what I'd do without him. If you fight like a married couple, talk like best friends, protect each other like siblings, then it's meant to be. - Miss Impulse**_

* * *

The song is Naked by DEV & Enrique Iglesias.

What do you think of Nick when he's with Alicia? What do you think of Alicia? Please Review!


	4. Other Loves

Slippery Slope into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ch4: Other Loves

* * *

I wake up and Alicia is still asleep her arms wrapped around me tightly and she's using my shoulder and arm as her pillow. Our legs are slightly entwined. I give her kiss on her forehead smelly her hair.

"Good morning." she says yawning.

"Morning darling'," I say. She takes a deep breath and we just lay there just enjoying the company. It remains me when you would hangout with friends and just watch TV, could be done alone but is better of shared with someone. We lay in silence for about twenty minutes.

"Come on, cowboy." Alicia says sitting up. I pull her on top of me in a hug before I start the day. Alicia goes in the bathroom to take a shower. I crawl out of bed and start to pick up everything that would ever show what occur this weekend. I then bring myself to the bathroom.

"I thought I was going to have to dump water on your head to wake you up."

Alicia says as I yawn. I strip down and hop in the shower with her. "Are you ready to join reality?"

_Day and night (what, what)  
I toss and turn, I keep stressing my mind, mind (what, what)  
I look for peace but see I don't attain (what, what)  
What I need for keeps this silly game we play, play  
Now look at this (what, what)  
Madness to magnet keeps attracting me, me (what, what)  
I try to run but see I'm not that fast (what, what)  
I think I'm first but surely finish last, last_

"No," I say hugging Alicia as the water hit my face slowly waking me up.

"Too bad, Cowboy." she laughed.

"I know." I nod. "Why are you so excited to go back? Does your boyfriend have something special planned?"

"Umm, it's fiancée now."

"Oh congrats."

"thanks." she says rolling her eyes causing me to laugh. "He is something else."

"Isn't his name Barnard?"

"Yes... Don't tease him. He's a nice guy." I look at her as she rinses her hair. "A little too nice."

"Too nice? Alicia Egress, did I hear you correctly?" I say teasing her.

"He's a push over to be honest. I want him to fight me sometimes show a little back bone. Why are we talking about my love life? What about you? How's the wonderful Nurse Lauren? Or Callie, your friend's niece?" she says looking at me. I look down embarrass and move to get in the water.

"Um, they're good." I say letting the water hit my face, as she washes my back.

"What about Rose?" Alicia asks, I stand up a little straighter. Alicia knows about Rose but has never met her. I can't just bring different women into her life out of respect to Jenny and Rose. I maybe scum but I'm not that scum.

Callie, Doc Robbins' niece, was going to meet her but that fell through. Rose got sick and then I started with Nurse Lauren and I changed my mind.

"She's good. She's starting pre-kindergarten soon,"

"Is she excited?"

"Yeah, all she talks about."

"That's cute."

"Yeah,"

"Look at you. You're practically glowing with fatherly pride," she said laughing I turned to look at her smiling.

"That's my little girl." I say smiling.

"You're a good dad."

"Thanks. But what about you and Barnard? Kids?"

"At this point if I were pregnant you'd be the father." my eyes grew wide when she said that.

"Why'd you say that?" I asked.

"I haven't really been seeing Barnard, we work opposite shifts and he is constantly working."

"Where does he think you are this weekend?"

"I told him I had a photo shoot in Reno. He doesn't even question me; he just says okay and keeps working."

"He's scared." I say in a whisper, pulling her towards me.

"If he only knew..." she says as I kiss her. She wraps her arms around my neck kissing me.

I would rather spend my life in pointless affairs than be alone for the rest of my life or lose someone I really love. I don't think my heart could survive another heartbreak or loss.

I know I'm not setting the best example for little Rose but I can't help it. God help the poor punk who tries to break Rose's heart he will find himself in an acid bath in the middle of the Nevada desert.

After our shower I help Alicia pack up and walk her out because I am a gentleman but once she's gone. She's gone and I feel the worst feeling of loneliness and disgust and a strange feeling of regret. I don't regret what I did; I regret how I feel now. Its part of the cycle. I shake my head at how these feelings don't bother me as much as they once did. I find them annoying and wish it would just go away. I start cleaning anything to keep my mind busy and get those thoughts out of my busy mind. I know once Rose gets home I've gone back to reality. I get dress knowing she is going to want to go to the park when she gets back. Now I wait. I hear a knock and greet Russell with Rose.

"Daddy!" Rose squeals running to me.

"Hey Rose, how was weekend with Grandpa?"

"Great! We went to a water park and a museum! Then we went to a park and it had the biggest teeter totter I have ever seen it was bigger than you!"

"No way?"

"Yes way!" she says still babbling about everything she's seen. I shake Russell's hand.

"How was she?" I ask him he smiles.

"Great. She's so well behaved and curious about everything." he says, I smile. Rose wants to know how something works, why it works, and what's it used for. She has questions about everything but there not just questions to have she really wants to know. When I told her what I did we talked about it for a couple hours.

"Can we go to the park, daddy?" Rose asks.

"Say goodbye to grandpa." I tell her and she runs to Russell hugging him.

"Bye Gampa," she says giving him a tight hug and a kiss.

"Bye Rose. I see you later. Love you little girl."

"Love you too, Gampa." she says. She stands in the doorway with me and waves to him as he leaves.

I live within walking distance of the park. Rose tells me about everything they did this weekend, and once we get to the park she runs to tell me about the seesaw. She then runs up on a swing.

"Push me daddy!" she says trying to climb on the swing. I pick her up and put her in the swing. She looks up at me and I can see the faint scar on her forehead. I see this scar and I always think about the accident. It's so faint it's barely even there but I always see it. The scar reminds me of what I use to have and what a dirt bag I am now.

"Daddy, watch this." she says bringing me from my thoughts.

"Yes, baby." I say as she jumps from the swing, luckily she lands on her feet.

"I'm going to go play tag with kids, daddy." she says running over.

If I didn't have Rose, I'd be to forgone for anyone to help me. She keeps me from going off the deep end, with everything. I know I'm not perfect and very far from it but I can admit it. I know that I don't have to perfect for Rose, because in her eyes I could never do wrong and I don't ever want to do anything to change that.

After the park we go home and I make Rose some dinner and put her to bed around sevenish, and then I go to bed. Working grave really messes with your sleep schedule especially if you have children. Children sleep with the rest of the world. I sleep when Rose is at preschool and when she goes to sleep. My alarm goes off at 10:30, and I let my nanny in and go to work. But because I over indulged on my sleeping pills I have to ration the rest until I get my refill.

One change that I have noticed in the lab these last couple months is a lot more women. Now, I've never been one to advocate for office affairs but if they are going be throwing it at me I'm taking it. Sometimes it's better to do so. After Catherine and I were 'together' we were cool, there was no more awkward sexual tension between us. Plus, we are still friends so it's a win win. But now the lab is a sea of temptation.

_'cause day and night  
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night  
He's all alone through the day and night  
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)  
Day and night  
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night  
He's all alone, some things will never change (never change)  
The lonely loner seems to free his mind at night (at, at, at night)_

The one who runs the ballistics lab just seems wild. I can never pronounce her name right, very Italian. I wouldn't mind letting her take control. Morgan is practically hurting for it which is weird because I'm pretty sure Greg really likes her. Judy has been around is a total sweetheart but I bet she's got a wild side. Finn looks like she'd kill me the next day if I didn't call. And then there is Mandy-dandy, she's one of my best friends except I would never want her to know what I think about, especially when I'm in her lab. She wants me to sing for her, I'll get her to sing for me. I apologize for my bluntness and the fact that I'm a total utter pig.

I take a seat in Mandy's lab as she sets up. I always take her seat so she has to acknowledge my presence.

"Hi Nick," she says pretending to be annoyed I smile at her. "I don't have any results for her. It's about time you got a haircut,"

"I was growing it out for you, Mands,"

"Gross," she says. "How's Rose?"

"Good,"

"That's good. How was the weekend off?"

"Nice," I say smiling. DB peaks his head in tapping on the door.

"You're with me," he says walking away.

_Hold the phone (what, what)  
The lonely loner, Mr. solo doe low (what, what)  
He's on the move can't seem to shake the shade (what, what)  
Within his dreams he sees the life he made, made  
The pain is deep (what, what)  
A silent sleeper you won't hear a peep, peep (what, what)  
The girl he wants don't seem to want him too.  
It seems the feelings that she had are through, through_

_**When we are together I feel like we are part of a different planet not with anyone else. We are so different from each other except when we are together we have more in common than either of us would have ever thought. We don't like the same music but will listen to it if the other enjoys it, weve done some may new things with each other. When we are apart… I constantly worry if something has happened to him. He calls me drunk and checks up on me and asks if I need anything. When we are apart I feel like a part of me is missing. When we are apart I feel like…- Miss Impulse**_

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The song is Day 'n' Nite by Kid Cudi.

I'm sorry for the slow start but its going to start pick up for now. Please Review!


	5. Controversial Fling

Slippery Slope into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

* * *

Ch5: Controversial Fling

We arrive at a book publishing center that was burglarized and vandalized and a security guard was killed. I'm waiting for DB to make a reference to some book because now would be the time to do it, but he doesn't. We walk inside and still no reference.

The crime scene was in the basement where all the records are kept. The guard is sprawled out in the middle of the room beaten to holy hell. The floor is covered in papers in manila folders. Someone was obviously looking for something, but whether or not they found it is the question. I see the publisher giving Brass a hard time however I'm not sure what about.

"Excuse me, ma'am may I ask you some questions?" I ask trying to help Brass.

"Yes, but I can't give you a lot." she says looking nervous but crossing her arms defiantly.

"Why is that ma'am?"

"There are a lot of projects right now that we are working on that I can't get into."

"Any of those 'projects' had any enemies?"

"Yeah quite a few actually."

"Okay, we will need a list of everything that was kept in here."

"I can't."

"What?" I ask, I am surprised that she would fight us on this especially because a man did die. If it was a simple break then maybe but this is a homicide.

"The DA is working on it." Brass said.

"I'll be more than happy to cooperate then but my hands are tied." she said but her hands aren't really tied. After several hours of processing papers and the messy crime scene. Even though it was a mess everything was still there. We won't know for sure until the subpoena comes in to compare but I bet the killer was interrupted by the security guard killed him and left. We get word that Doc Robbins is done with the autopsy.

I wait for DB and pass the bodies that are in the hallway waiting to find their new home in the Clark County Morgue. Many people think we just deal with Vegas crimes but it is all Clark County and Vegas is just a great portion of that. I feel my phone vibrate and I have a text from Alicia. We usually don't talk so close after a weekend like that.

_Seems the road less traveled  
Show's happiness unraveled  
And you got to take a little dirt  
To keep what you love  
That's what you gotta do_

_Alicia: hey cowboy can you give me a ride home?_

_Me: yeah I can pick you up after my shift_

_Alicia: can't wait ;)_

_If you could only see the way she loves me  
Then maybe you would understand  
Why I feel this way about our love  
And what I must do_

"Are you ready?" DB said as I read Alicia's text. "Who are you texting?"

"No one. You ready?"

"yeah." we walk inside, just as Doc Robbins is weighing the victim's brain.

"Say hello to Security Officer Brandon Putter. Whose brain weight is that of a healthy male."

"Great, Doc." DB said raising an eyebrow at him.

"How about COD, Doc?" I ask.

"Blunt force to his neck. Something hit his neck with enough force that broke the vertebrae and that pinched his airway off." Doc Robbins says showing us the deep bruising on neck. It was not strangulation marks but more like something struck him in directly in the neck.

"So it suffocated him." DB said

"Yes,"

"Doc, what would do something like that?" I ask.

"Anything. I won't know for sure until I dissect but at first blush I'd say a fist."

"Alright thanks Doc." DB says leaving I follow him out.

"You know I've been waiting for you to make a reference to a book, all day?"

"Really?" he says genuinely surprised. I nod. "Is it because we were at a publishing company?"

"Yeah. A story about a book place that's like given to you on a platter." I say.

"I'll have one for you tomorrow." he says chuckling.

"Can't wait." I say.

"We can't do anything else today. The DA promises to have the subpoena to us tomorrow."

"I'll see you tomorrow, DB." I say leaving.

"See you Nick." he says rubbing his eyes. Vegas are starting to get to him. Vegas is a monster like no other, preparation is unless because there is nothing like it. I wish him the best of luck dealing with this beast.

I drive to Alicia's strip club and wait for her out in the parking lot. I know she's going to be a couple minutes.

"Hey Nick," Alicia's friend, Crystal, says coming to my car.

"Hey Crystal, how are you?"

"Surviving, you?"

"Surviving." I say chuckling. "How is Alicia today?"

"She is in a mood. Her and the boss got into a fight in the beginning of shift." she says I make face.

"Just take care of her and bring her to my house. She's going to need some girl time."

"Okay," I say laughing. I see Alicia walking towards the car hopping in. "you want something to eat?" I ask, because I'm starving.

"sure." she says messing with her purse. I start driving trying to find the closet burger place with a drive thru. I hear Alicia undo her seatbelt. "I love watching you try and concentrate."

"What?" I ask looking over for a brief second seeing a mischievous smirk on her face.

_Well you got your reasons  
And you got your lies  
And you got your manipulations  
They cut me down to size  
Sayin' you love but you don't  
You give your love but you won't_

She sticks her hand in my shirt and bites my ear. Not hard but hard enough to let me know what we are going to have to do. I stop at a red light and she pulls me into a lustful kiss.

"I had a bad day at work." she says before kissing me again biting my lip.

"I heard." I say hearing the car from behind me honk. I try my hardest to stay concentrated on the road as Alicia makes that damn near impossible. I stop at the burger place.

"Welcome to tasty time, may I take your order?"

"I'll take a 17 and a large drink."

"Is that it?"

"No..." I say. "What do you want Alicia?" I ask she crawls across my lap leaving her hands in compromising places.

"I'll take the chicken nugget meal," she says kissing me. Once I get the food I speed to Crystal's apartment trying to ignore Alicia so we don't die.

Once we get to Crystal's I park and give in to Alicia. She pushes me back and climbs in the backseat I follow her. She climbs on top of me and pushes me down. I know she wants to be in control and I'm more than happy in allowing her to be. Usually when we are together it is pretty even speed we feed off each other and no one person is really in control. The only exception to this rule is when one of us is having a bad day and need a release like this. I love it when Alicia takes control she's so sure of what she wants and how she's going to get no one especially me is going to stop.

Afterwards I take a deep breath and but my shirt back on as she pulls her dress down a little. She grabs the food and brings it in the back seat. I feel a stingy on my shoulder from Alicia's nails during our fun.

"What was the fight about?" I ask leaning against the door trying to regain my composure.

"What fight?"

"Crystal said that she saw you arguing with your boss."

"What are you checking up on me?"

"No. I ask her how you were today and she said she saw you two arguing. I wasn't checking up on you." I say getting slightly annoyed with her. "Whatever..." I say taking a bite from my burger.

"He was being an ass. He wanted me to cover and come in on my day off but I have an event to go to. We argued and he called me lazy among other things."

"I'm sorry..."

"Don't worry about it. How was day?"

"Confusing."

"Why?"

"We get called to a burglary and the security guard was killed we just want the manifest of things that are in there and she's acting like we want all the scoops of her stories."

"Was it at a publishing place?"

"Yeah, in Henderson." I say lifting my head up to look at her. "Do you know the place?"

"Yeah,"

"Really?" I ask, I see Alicia get really nervous. She looks at me and then back down. "Is everything alright?"

"Yeah, quit staring." she snaps back, being very tense.

"If you know anything you have to tell me?"

"Well, I don't..."

"I don't believe you." I say, she shakes her head.

"I don't know anything, officer." Alicia says getting angry with me. She gets out of the Denali I follow her grabbing her by her hand.

"Alicia, I'm not trying to upset you. If you are in trouble I want you to tell me." I say, she nods. I pull her into a hug.

"I'm fine, Nick."

"Ok,"

"I'm going go, see Crystal."

"Ok." I say kissing her forehead. She walks away, I still believe that something is wrong but I can't force her to tell just like how she doesn't force me to do anything. I see Alicia because I want, I like how she makes me feel. "Alicia!" I yell.

"Yeah," she says looking over the balcony at the apartment complex.

"If you need anything… call me."

"Okay."

_You're stretching out your arms to something that's just not there  
Sayin' you love where you stand  
Give your heart when you can_

_**His heart is so big. He does so much good but yet the guilt he carries with him you would think he's the devil. His daughter that he loves dearly that biologically is not his. That's his baby girl. I think he's too good for me too good to be true but then there's that dark side. I've almost gotten him help on a few occasions but he feels he doesn't deserve it. He just wants to hold in and protect what he has and not lose anymore. He's my best friend I tell him everything and he confides in me which I know isn't something he does with everyone. We are both good people except for our dark side. - Miss Impulse**_

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Please Review! Sorry for the wait. The next couple chapters are going to get really heated. Nick breaks one of the most sacred rules.

The song is If you could only see by Tonic.


	6. Jerk

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy! This is borderline M for so inappriorate actions and language.

Disclaimer: I own nothing.

Ch6: Jerk

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"Why don't you grab a book to read before bed?" I say sitting on the couch as Rose runs to her bookshelf.

"This one, daddy." she says climbing on the couch handing me the book.

"Green eggs and ham, my favorite." I say she smiles squinting at me.

"You say that every time, dad." she giggles. I do say it every time, I just want her to enjoy reading and enjoy the time we share together mostly. While I read Rose this story one that I've read several times. I love to watch her face light up as the characters on the pages come to life in her imagination. As I finish the story I look down and she's snuggled against my arm.

"Come on, Rose. It's time for bed." I say putting the book down and she sits up.

"Whose is this, daddy?" Rose says.

"Who's is what, sweetheart..." I say as she picks up one of Alicia's earrings from under the coffee table. "That's... Umm... One of my friends..."

_I blame it on the model broad with the Hollywood smile  
Stripper booty and a rack like wow, Brain like Berkeley_

"This is a girl earring daddy."

"I know, baby."

"Well, was there a girl here?" she says climbing on her bed.

"Yes."

"What's her name?"

"Don't worry about it, Rose." I chuckle handing her, her stuffed dog.

"Umm... Daddy, if she's going to be your friend I have to know. Is she nice?"

"Yes."

"Is she nice to you? Does she share? Is she fun?"

"Yes. Yes. And yes."

"When do I get to play with her?"

"I'm not sure. Why don't you just go to sleep, baby?" I say tucking her in.

"Okay," she says squeezing her dog.

"I want you to find a better man than me when you're older." I say to her, she gives me a sleepy smile.

"You're a good boy, daddy." she says tapping my hand.

"Promise me you will find a good man."

"Geez daddy I'm only four and a half."

"Okay, baby girl. I'll see you in the morning."

"Love you, daddy." Rose says rolling over.

"I love you too." I say turning her bedside lamp off.

I sit on my sofa I'm too antsy I feel like a bundle of nerves ready to explode. I can't believe Rose found Alicia's earring. This is only going to get worst as Rose gets older she's going to get more and more curious and smarter. I won't be able to hide this forever. I stare at my phone debating whether or not to call Lady Heather. I call her just so that I'm not out of mind at work.

"Hello, this is Doctor Kessler."

"Hi, Lady... I mean Dr. K,"

"Hello Nick, how are you?"

"Um I'm alright. And yourself?"

"I'm fine but we are not here to talk about me, are we?"

"No..." I say ashamed.

"You've been ignoring my calls all week so what do I owe this call too?"

"I don't want help." I say flat out because I know she's going to want to schedule an appointment. "Well, help for that but I need help now. I feel like I'm out of mind."

"What makes you feel like that?"

"I feel like my adrenaline is going out of control but it's not going at all."

"Nick, you have anxiety. That's a normal symptom of withdrawal for someone with hyper sexuality." she says, and with that my nerves are eased a lot.

"Oh,"

"What brought on these feelings?"

"Rose found an earring that belonged to a lady I had over."

_Been tryna film pleasure with my eyes wide shut but it keeps on moving'  
I blame it on the model broad with the Hollywood smile  
Stripper booty with the rack like wow, I'll never forget ya  
You put me on a feelin' I never had, never had, never had  
And ever since I've been tryna get it back, pick it up and put it back  
Now I'm somethin' like the chemist on campus  
But there's no drug around, quite like what I found in you_

"I'd like for you to schedule an appointment. We can go over you're anxiety and all the withdrawal symptoms with you and maybe discuss treatment, Nick."

"I don't know..."

"Nick, I don't know how many times I can tell you about the dangers of letting this go untreated. The withdrawals will be worst your feelings of anger and depression will deepen. Rose, won't stay little forever. Please come in,"

"I don't know doc,"

"I'll schedule you an appointment for tomorrow at 10," she says.

"Okay,"

Shift was so boring and my feelings off anxiety was coming and going in big swings. The DA didn't have the subpoena ready which was a big surprise to be honest they never have them when we need them. We moved on to other cases but it was towards the end of shift.

Greg and I started setting up decorations in break room under orders of DB.

Morgan made CSI level 3.

"Here she comes." DB said everyone sat down as Morgan entered the room.

"Is everything alright?" she says, DB rises from his seat and facing her.

"I got something today for you." DB says pulling out a Manila folder. "Straight from headquarters." the look of fear that came over her face was priceless.

"What is it?" she asks her voice shaking with fear.

"Congratulations you've been promoted to CSI Level 3." DB says everyone in the room including myself starts to smile and laugh and applaud her. She deserves it.

"Oh my gosh, you just scared Me." she says releasing a deep breath. We shake her hand and give her hugs, this is a feat for her.

"I say we celebrate at Odell's." Sara said we all nod. Odell's is a cop bar one of the few in Vegas, and I could certainly use a drink to ease my nerves before I go home.

As soon as we get to the bar I start to drink I give others there drinks and we sit and share stories. This reminds me of old times just the people around me are a little different.

As I start to feel the effects of my drinks and I feel the line between my two life's start to blend. The thoughts of being with a coworker are exciting and scaring at the same time but if it gets rid of the feelings of anxiety and depression I have now I'll travel to the dark side.

I look around and see DB and Finn talking those two are strange together. I can't tell what their past is based on what I've heard and how they act. Sara already left. I don't care for what Hodges is doing and then I see Morgan sitting by herself. I didn't see Greg leave yet I was more concentrated on getting as much drinks in my system as possible.

"Is this seat taken?" I ask putting my hand on her shoulder.

"No, no you can sit." Morgan said smiling I take the seat next to her.

"How does it feel?"

"The same." she says laughing.

"Come on, let's dance." I say finishing my beer standing up.

"Nick..." she says giving a nervous giggle and I feel all my anxiety and depression go away. I don't know if it was the alcohol or other things.

"Come on." I say laughing taking her hand. I look up for a brief second to see Greg leaving.

"Okay, fine." she says giggling again. We dance and one thing leads to another and now I'm sitting on Morgan's bed helping her disrobe of all her clothes. We kiss and I feel nothing special, I barely feel anything at all. She pushes me on the bed and that makes it a little bit more exciting for me but not much.

_Novocain, baby, baby, Novocain, baby, I want you  
Fuck me good, fuck me long, fuck me numb  
Love me now, when I'm gone, love me none  
Love me none, love me none, numb, numb, numb, numb_

However once I get on top and look at her naked little body I feel the rush. I don't let her take control at all and I can tell she doesn't mind. I can tell she hasn't had some like me before, I can read it in her face and body and yet I don't feel the same. So I try harder. "Oh god." she sighs in my ear.

Right afterwards I start to get dress as I hear her try and regain her composure as I do. I put my pants on and sit back on the bed away from her. I just messed up big time.

"Are you going stay?" she says already growing slightly angry with me.

"nah..." I say putting my undershirt on.

"You're just going to leave?" she says pissed. I just nod. I feel a pillow hit me in the back of my head. "Get out!" she yells throwing another pillow. I chuckle and leave as she unloads the rest of her bedtime arsenal.

_Pretty girls involved with me  
Makin' pretty love to me pretty, pity pity  
All the pretty girls involved with me  
Makin' pretty love to me pretty, pity pity_

_I can't feel a thing_  
_I can't feel her_  
_Novocain for the pain_

_**In the time I've known Cowboy I've come to see what a slippery slope he's on. His self esteem is terrible he things he undeserving of everything but in reality he's blessed. His friends think the world of him, he's his daughter's superhero. He couldn't do wrong in her eyes but she won't stay little forever. **__**He's the best father he can be right now but if he can't get better she will turn into everything he doesn't want. I have no children, not yet, but I remember watching that lifestyle as a young girl and thinking that that is normal. In Cowboy's the less you know the less you get hurt but he will know how wrong that is. - Miss Impulse**_

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The song is Novacane by Frank Ocean. Please Review. What do you think will happen next?


	7. Sliding

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ch7: Sliding

* * *

When I arrive the next day at work I feel a little bit better but when I got home Rose wasn't feeling well. So besides for being tired my anxiety is gone as well as my depression and the thought of people finding out doesn't even scare me and that scares me. I yawn as I get my things out of my locker.

"Late night?" I hear DB ask from the doorway.

"Yeah, something like that. My kid has been up with the stomach bug." I chuckle.

"I didn't know you have a kid." he says crossing his arms walking closer. I take a photo from my locker and hand it to him. It is from her last birthday party.

"She turned four in January." I say as he hands the photo back.

"She's beautiful. What's her name?"

"Rose." we both smile. I could talk about little Rose all day long if people would let me.

"Well, the DA was finally able to secure a subpoena for the book manifest."

"Nice."

"Meet me in the observation room in five."

"Sure thing." I say as I finish getting ready. When I leave the locker room I see Greg and Morgan in a somewhat heated discussion and I think I already know what it's about. I walk the other way to the observation room so I don't have to pass them. Avoid and Deny.

"So I skimmed the manifest and there only one that jumps out at me."

"Okay, what's it about?"

"The way the list is set up is: author, title, and a brief summary."

"Okay, I don't understand." I say growing very confused. "What is the story?"

"Its title is a Slippery Slope into Darkness. No summary and check out the author's name." he says putting the folder down pointing to the spot. I feel my stomach hit the floor and I didn't know if I was going to puke, faint, or go nuts.

"DB, I need to get off this case." I say swallowing. The author was Miss Impulse.

"Why?" he asks as I just and control myself for going into a total worry.

"Just... Just cause." I say pushing the case file back to him heading for the door but I feel him grab my arm.

"What's going on, Nick?"

_Two tattoos, one read "No Apologies"  
The other said "Love is cursed by monogamy"  
That's somethin' that the pastor don't preach  
That's somethin' that a teacher can't teach  
When we die, the money we can't keep  
But we probably spend it all 'cause the pain ain't cheap  
Preach_

"I think... I know who Miss Impulse is." I say trying to choose my words carefully.

"Who?"

"Her name is Alicia Egress." I say pulling my arm away and call her on my phone. Over and over again I get her voicemail. "Come on, Alicia." I say calling again. I hear DB yelling for me I jeopardized the case but I have to make sure she's alright. Finally she answers.

"What?" she says on the phone I can't tell if she's angry or scared.

"Are you involved in my case? The publishing place?" she's silent. "Damn it,

Alicia. Answer me!"

"I never want to see you again, Nick Stokes! I can't believe you! I have to go..." she says hanging up mid sentence. I stare at my phone in disbelief, something is wrong. She rarely calls me Nick even when she's mad, but she never calls me Nick Stokes. Something is wrong I can feel it down in my stomach.

All of a sudden I feel someone push me from behind with some force. I drop my phone and nearly fall. I stumble and turn to see Greg behind me and he looks pissed.

"Did you sleep with Morgan?" Greg yells. This is the last thing on my mind I have to see Alicia and make sure she's alright. I get to my feet and try to just ignore Greg but he grabs my arm. "Are we back to this? You have to sleep with anything with a pulse?"

"Don't touch me." I say pushing him away. "I don't have time for this."

"Man up, and answer me." he says I stop and turn to face him.

"Man up?"

"You heard me. We've been friends long enough so I thought you could be a man and just tell me."

"A man? Why don't you ask Morgan how much of a man I am?"

"Are you kidding me, Nick?" he says I can see him just getting angrier and angrier and I see red.

"She's been begging for it since she got here. It was nothing special, it was there. That's all."

"You're a pig."

"It takes two to tango." I say he charges me. He tries to take me down but can't and DB separates us.

"What is going on?" DB demanded to know but we remain silent. I pick up my phone looking at the shattered screen.

"Really Nick? We are back to this aren't we?" Greg said.

"Fuck you." I say getting angry.

"Aye aye none of that. Go take a walk." DB says giving me a light push. I leave and go to Alicia's club.

_Human beings in a mob  
What's a mob to a king?  
What's a king to a god?  
What's a god to a non-believer?  
Who don't believe in anything?_

_Will he make it out alive_  
_All right, all right_  
_No church in the wild_

"Hey Nick," her boss says, unfortunately I am a regular here. I only watch Alicia though or her friend Crystal.

"Hey has Alicia come in, yet?" I ask shaking his hand.

"No, I haven't seen her or Crystal. Why has something happened?"

"No no I'm just looking. Okay, we'll thank you." I say leaving.

"Wait, if you find them can you tell them to give me a call?" he says writing his number down. In every zero he puts this upside seven looking thing it reminds me of my grandfather he did the same thing.

DB calls me and I ignore the call. I already know I'm in a lot of trouble anything I do won't change that so I'm not talking to DB until I know Alicia is safe.

I get to Alicia's and I hear a man yelling and my mind floods and I kick the door down yelling for Alicia. The man surprises me and grabs a hold of me. We wrestle and I overpower this guy I see a light and it's Barnard, Alicia's fiancée. I raise my fist to punch him and feel something strike me in the back of the head. I fall grabbing my head.

_I live by you, desire  
I stand by you, walk through the fire  
Your love is my scripture  
Let me into your encryption_

_**This fantasy life we've shared together was bound to be a disaster just because it wasn't a fantasy. I see what he fixes before there is a problem. Sex, lies, money, murder I see it before he sees it after. The belly of the beast of the monster that is called Las Vegas. It earned its nickname Sin City. This city is a dark hole that can turn good people into everything they may hate. From the outside looking in it looks disastrous but in reality it's a controlled mess. We are a controlled mess and Cowboy and I have all the same qualities as something disastrous, sex, lies, money but not murder… hopefully. Lies can build, break, stir, and sink a regular relationship, ours was building on it at fault of my own. This is far crazier then what I expected. It's far greater and far worse than anything I expected, and now I don't know what will happen. To me or to him. – Miss Impulse**_

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Please Review! The song is No Church in the Wild by Jay Z & Kanye West


	8. Falls Apart

Slippery Slope Into Darkness

Please Review and Enjoy!

Disclaimer: I own nothing

Ch8: Falls Apart

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Rain drops drip onto my face as I sit on the tailgate of the ambulance holding the back of my head. My head hurts so bad I can't even describe the level of pain I'm in. Getting shot hurt worst but not by much. My vision is blurry, I see spots, I feel dizzy and nauseous, and have the worst headache. The paramedic hands me an ice pack to put on my growing egg. I see Barnard and grow angry again, I go to stand but my legs are jelly and DB and Brass separate us. DB practically holds me up as he and I walk away.

_Sometimes I wake up by the door,  
That heart you caught must be waiting for you  
Even now when we're already over  
I can't help myself from looking for you._

"Something is wrong." I say searching to find my words, squinting so the water doesn't get in my eyes.

"You don't say. The paramedic said you got hit with a frying pan. You need to go to the hospital." he says and I just shrug. "Nick, you just broke into someone's house and assaulted the owner..."

"This is Alicia's house... That's her fiancée Barnard." I say getting sleepy. My head feels like its spinning but I got to find Alicia. "You have to find Alicia. Something is wrong, DB."

"How do you know Alicia, Nick?" he asks but that's not important. I stumble and sit on the hood of a cruiser.

"That's not important..." I say as DB grabs my arm so I don't fall.

"I disagree. Tell me, now." he said a little more stern.

"Something bad has happened to her, please DB. Talk to him, please." I beg.

"Wait here. I'm serious." he says as water drips from the brim of his hat. I fight the waves of nausea as DB walks away. DB and Brass talk and DB comes back.

"So?" I ask practically begging.

"He doesn't know her."

"That's a lie! DB, I've been inside this house with Alicia. I've had... He's lying!" I say throwing my ice pack on the ground in anger. "What did you do to her?!" I yell trying to grab him but DB grabs me. "He's lying; I've seen pictures of the two of them together!"

"My sister's name is Alicia. But she goes by Lyn." Barnard says, I start to get really confused.

"Do you have a photo?" Brass asked as DB still had his hand on my chest.

"Becky, get me my wallet." Barnard says to the woman that hit me in the head with a frying pan. He takes a folded photo out of his wallet and hands it to Brass. Brass shows me the photo and it's of Barnard and Alicia. Alicia has showed me the same photo but said it was during their honeymoon.

"Is this Alicia?" DB asked, I'm stuck in awe at how stunning she looks. Her amber eyes grabbing my souls and refusing to let go.

"Yeah..." I whisper just mesmerized by the photograph.

"That's her brother Barnard Miller and his wife Rebecca."

"I don't understand..." I say getting angry.

"I haven't seen her in days, man." Barnard says, I push past DB and charged

Barnard. DB and Brass stop me before I reach him and pull me back. I feel like all the air is being sucked out of my body and my surroundings. Fear paralyzes my body as I assume the worst for Alicia or Lyn or whoever she is.

_But there's a side to you  
That I never knew, never knew.  
All the things you'd say  
They were never true, never true,  
And the games you play  
You would always win, always win._

I can't believe she'd lied to me about everything. I feel used and abused; I've told her things that I've been too ashamed to say aloud. How could she do this? She knows what I've been through and now it seems like it's happening again.

_I let it fall, my heart,  
And as it fell you rose to claim it  
It was dark and I was over  
Until you kissed my lips and you saved me_

"You're lucky; he's not pressing charges, Nick." DB says putting back on the tailgate of the ambulance any from everyone else.

"I don't care!" I say pushing DB away. I don't want him to touch me. I don't want anyone to touch me. I want to just get away. "We have to find her."

"No, we have to find her. Not you." DB said motioning to him and Brass. I chuckle, I'll be damned if they find Alicia without me. "I'm serious, Nick!" I look down ashamed and embarrassed. "Go to the hospital, and meet me at the Lab." he says quietly, I can tell he's disappointed.

I walk away but I don't go to the hospital I just go to the lab and wait for DB. We are wasting time. I pace around DB's office my nerves are in overdrive. I stay clear of everyone. Everyone knows about the almost fight with Greg and I; they know what I just did, and what I did last night. I feel like I'm going to die but I know I wouldn't be blessed with that right now. What about Rose? Having to know she grew up with a pity of fake father. I kneel down and sob into my hands in great shame. My head feels like it's going to explode and I can't tell if that's from my concussion or nerves. I send a text to Kelly, my nanny, and let her know I'll be home a little late.

All I want is for Alicia to come through the door and tell me how I'm overreacting and that she is fine. I want her to hold me and run her fingers through my hair. I want to hear her laugh, see her smile, and see her eyes light up. I want her to tell me everything is going to be alright.

_When I lay with you  
I could stay there  
Close my eyes  
Feel you here forever  
You and me together  
Nothing is better_

The noise and lights bother me so I go to the morgue. The morgue is dimly lit and always quiet. I call Lady Heather because I have to talk to someone. It rings and rings as I walk around the hallway seeing a couple bodies. I see one that catches my eye and makes my stomach hit the floor.

"Hello, this is Doctor Kessler..." I hear but I drop my phone and walk to the body.

"No..." I choke out walking to the body. Skin cold and blue with bruises on her neck that I've seen claim the lives of many others.

_My hands, they're strong  
But my knees were far too weak,  
To stand in your arms  
Without falling to your feet_

_**Absence makes the heart grow fonder. Fear paralyzes the body. Anger plagues the soul. Love makes the heart grow stronger. It's not about the number of people one has been with if they have to continue chasing to still get happy. It's quality versus quantity. A bunch of little lies or one big lie. I haven't been completely honest but I haven't been completely dishonest either. Truth begins in lies. Think about it. - Miss Impulse**_

* * *

The song is Set Fire to the Rain by the wonderful Adele. What do you think is going to happen? I apologize for the long wait I just found this on iPod and could've swore that I already put this up but apparetly not. Sorry! Please Review!


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